


Protect Her

by confusednerdling



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alex is going through a lot, Comfort/Angst, F/F, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Jeremiah is mentioned, Project Cadmus, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-26
Updated: 2016-11-26
Packaged: 2018-09-02 06:37:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8654617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/confusednerdling/pseuds/confusednerdling
Summary: After a confrontation with Project Cadmus and Jeremiah Danvers, Alex is left a shell of a person. Kara and Maggie take it upon themselves to protect the woman from herself, her thoughts, and from the world.





	

There’s something really wrong going on.

 

Maggie can tell the moment they enter the government-issued, black SUV that there is something very not normal about the situation. 

 

They had been fighting in some CADMUS base. Maggie and Alex had split up - Maggie taking a militia of DEO agents in dark Kevlar and Alex taking her famous running buddy, Supergirl. And when they had regrouped in front of the van after a job well done, there was something really wrong going on.

 

The first tip was the somber look on Supergirl’s face. It wasn’t some cheery smile. She didn’t whoop or throw a fist in the air or cry out in victory. She walked out of the building with something dark in her eyes. Then, Alex walked out behind her. And then Maggie knew something was horribly wrong. 

 

The DEO agent had specks of blood on her face and uniform that didn’t belong to her. Her hands were drenched in red. Her brown eyes were wide as if she were a million miles away, and her gun was drawn. It was in her hands that were shaking madly, but no one dared to step forward and remove it. 

 

Supergirl took it and from her face, it was almost as if she didn’t know Alex even had a gun.

 

“What happened in there?” Maggie asked, but Supergirl merely shook her head, giving her a scathing look that clearly said _not now_ and entered the SUV. This alone was very odd. Supergirl always flew with her red cape whipping and her blonde curls dancing in the night sky, but now she was cramped in the back of the SUV with all the other agents and a very pale and sickly looking Alex. She looked...human. She had her knees to her chest with one hand in her hair and another hand on Alex’s shoulder. 

 

Maggie would have gotten jealous over the gesture normally, but right now, she could care less about that. Right now, she was focused on the fact that Supergirl was clutching Alex’s shoulder like she was using her super strength to keep Alex tethered to this world, to this plane of existence. 

 

\---

 

When they arrived at the DEO, Maggie lost sight of Alex through the blur of dark unformed agents. One moment she was there, being held up by Supergirl. Then, the agents started piling out of the car. An agent behind her asked for identification before entering the base, and after fishing for it for a few moments and handing it over, that by the time she looked up both Supergirl and Agent Danvers were both gone. 

 

\---

 

Maggie walked over to Alex’s apartment slowly. She didn’t know why she was doing this. Alex probably wouldn’t want her there. They had gotten over the whole kiss thing and moved into the stage of uncomfortable friendship, but it wasn’t true friendship. And maggie was pretty positive her presence was going to be met with anger, but Maggie needed to know Alex was alright. She needed to know that Alex wasn’t alone. She wanted to be there.

 

And so she found herself walking over to the apartment and knocking on the door. At first, it was a gentle tap, but then she gathered the courage to knock louder but due to the force of the knock, the door opened. 

 

“Um, I did not mean to do that,” Maggie yelped. She fiddled with her hands a bit before pushing the door all the way open. “Alex? You left your door open a little and that’s…” She scrunched her face up. “That’s unlike you. You alright? Alex? I’m coming in. Alex?” 

 

The apartment was exactly how she pictured it. It’s simple, and it looks barely lived in, but then she notices the fireplace. There are photographs on the mantle, but one was smashed. Glass littered the floor. Maggie tentatively picks up the broken frame and picture. It’s of a man - dark hair, dark eyes. 

 

He looked a little like Alex. 

 

She placed the frame back on the floor, not knowing exactly where to place it. 

 

“Alex?” she called out again. That’s when she noticed the bloody handprint on the wall, and without thinking, she drew her gun. “ALEX?!” She kicked down the bathroom door. There was speckles of blood on the sink, but no one there. The bedroom looked untouched. There was no where here. 

 

She couldn’t help but feel panic slam around in her heart like a freaking bull, because Alex had been home, but she wasn’t here. She could be anywhere… She could be at her sister’s. She could be - 

 

Stars. When Alex was stressed, she went to where she could see stars. 

 

Maggie sprinted to the apartment building’s stairs and ran all the way up to the roof. 

 

\---

 

She panted as she leaned her body against the roof door without pushing it and looked through the window of the door. But all she could see was Alex sitting on the ledge with a bottle and everything else got blurry. 

 

“ALEX!” she practically screamed the moment she pushed the door open and she really wished she hadn’t because Supergirl looked at her with such a fury that she thought lasers were going to be aimed at her chest at any moment. 

 

The superhero clutched the agent as if expecting Alex to fall from the loud noise or to get scared or to react in any way, but Alex remained motionless, staring down at the city, looking like Death. 

 

“Alex…” Maggie murmured softly. “I’m sorry,” She swallowed thickly, looking at the hero uneasily. “Sorry for intruding. It’s just… I wanted to check on her - Alex - and I stopped by her - your - apartment and I - “ Her eyes jumped from the agent to the hero, unsure of who to address, unsure if Alex was even listening. But by how inert Alex was, she chose the blonde. “Is she alright?” she asked quietly. 

 

“No,” the hero replied. Her voice was raspy and judging by the tear streaks, Supergirl had been crying too. “Thanks, Maggie, for coming to check on her, but you should go. We - “

 

She was about to continue, but Alex shook her head gently. “Stay,” her voice was sharp and deeper than usual. It was pained. Physically pained, and Maggie’s heart shattered similarly to the picture in Alex’s apartment. 

 

Maggie walked slowly to Alex’s other side and sat down on the ledge beside her. Her feet dangling above a busy street and she prayed if she slipped Supergirl would fly down and save her. Although judging by the looks the hero was sending, Maggie was pretty sure the superhero would take her sweet time with the rescue. 

 

“What happened?” Maggie asked for the second time that night. 

 

“You don’t have to talk about - “ Supergirl jumped in, but Alex shook her head again.

 

“I saw my dad,”

 

“The man in the photo?”

 

Alex nodded. Tears fell down to the city below. And Maggie cursed inwardly. This city would never know what heroes lurked in the darkness. They knew of the ones dressed in red and blue and gold with flashy capes and sweet smiles, but they didn’t know of Alex Danvers, a true hero. They will never know of her sacrifice. They will never throw parades for her. They will never scream her name or cheer her on or know she exists. They will never know how much pain Alex goes through for them. They will walk on streets and mistake her tears for rain and not know of the true pain. Because Alex was selfless and brave and human. 

 

How many nights had Alex sat on this roof, feet dangling, drink in hand, and cried to the city below? Her tears falling below watering the world with her pain in order for it to stay safe?

 

“I’m sorry,” Maggie whispered. She knew it wasn’t enough. There wasn’t enough she could say. 

 

Alex nodded again and took a long swig of scotch. There was still blood on her hands. There was still blood on her outfit. But she appeared unaffected.

 

“Alex, we’ve been here for a while. Maybe we should go inside and get you cleaned up?” Supergirl suggested with such love that Maggie expected the flare of jealousy to kick in, but she was just glad someone loved Alex this much. 

 

“I…” Alex looked up. “I don’t want to leave the stars,” she whispered sadly. 

 

“They’ll be there tomorrow,”

 

Alex’s brown eyes moved down to the red on her hands and froze there. And suddenly Danvers wasn’t right next to her anymore, she was worlds away, tormenting herself over whatever happened after they split up. 

 

Supergirl noticed this too. And nudged the woman softly to jar her back to reality. 

 

But Alex’s head snapped to face Supergirl’s. “Get away from me!” the agent roared, suddenly struck with a panic that wasn’t there before. “Get away! Get away! Get - “ She dropped her bottle, but the hero grabbed it and placed down to the roof floor. 

 

“Alex…”

 

“GET AWAY!” Alex screamed, digging her nails into her hair. 

 

Supergirl backed a bit to help Alex calm down, but her features turned stony and defiant. “I am not leaving you,”

 

Alex got off the ledge as quickly as possible and scrambled away, looking hysterical. “Get away! Both of you! Get away from me! Now! Get away!”

 

“Alex!” Maggie swung her legs around to place them to solid ground. She raised her hands in surrender. “Alex, it’s alright! We don’t want to hurt you!”

 

“BUT I’M GOING TO HURT YOU!” Alex sobbed. Blood was running down her scalp. And Maggie couldn’t tell if it was from the red on her hands or if she had dug her nails so deep she broke skin. 

 

“ALEX!” Supergirl surged forward, but Alex drew her gun. 

 

Maggie stood up quickly and looked for her own. Her eyes widened with disbelief. Shit… She… She didn’t have her gun on her… That gun, in Alex’s hands, was her’s… How could she have been so stupid?

 

“You can’t hurt me, Alex!” Supergirl said with a small and definitely forced chuckle. “I’m Kryptonian, remember?”

 

“I hurt everyone… I hurt everyone… I hurt everyone….” Alex whispered. She wasn’t even talking to them anymore, but to herself. Whispering it like it was her new religion. Her face devoted to every word, every syllable, like she thought it was true. 

 

“You don’t!” Supergirl insisted, taking a step forward, but that was the wrong move.

 

The gun moved from being pointed at the hero in red and blue to being pointed to Alex’s temple. 

 

“ALEX!” Maggie shrieked. “PUT THE GUN DOWN!” She could feel her world be ripped apart, be shattered, with every second that progressed with that weapon pointed at the beautiful face that was Alex. 

 

“I hurt everyone. I hurt everyone,” the agent shook her head violently. “I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want to hurt either of you… I… I killed Astra. I killed her. I… I hurt dad,”

 

“You had to Alex!” Supergirl yelped. “He was going to hurt me! He was going to kill me! You had too!” Her blue eyes moved from her sister’s frame to Maggie’s and with a small look, Maggie knew exactly what to do. “Alex!” Supergirl continued. “Alex, look at me. Put the gun down. You didn’t hurt Jeremiah,” 

 

“I did. I did. I did,”

 

“No!” Supergirl sobbed. She was wrecked with emotions, Maggie had never seen. “No, you didn’t. You hurt a CADMUS agent. That wasn’t Jeremiah. That wasn’t him. He’s not the man who taught you how to surf. Who brought us to Friendly’s. Who let you stay up and watch scary movies. He is not the man who took in a Kryptonian girl and treated her like family. He is not the man who stayed up with us and looked at the stars. The stars, Alex. The stars. Did you learn about them from a CADMUS agent or your dad?”

 

“D-Dad,”

 

Maggie was now only inches from Alex. She could see the pain etched in her brown eyes as clearly as she could see the lights of the city. 

 

“Alex, give me the gun,”

 

“Maggie…”

 

“Give me the gun,” Maggie said as her fingers wrapped around it. “Let it go, Alex. Let it go. Please,” 

 

The instant Alex let go, she collapsed to her knees and sobbed.

 

\---

 

Without at all speaking, Maggie and Supergirl enter a wordless agreement that whatever unspoken feud they have going on, it was on pause. All that mattered was Alex. 

 

Maggie cleaned up the glass, the bloody handprint, the sink, and helped clean Alex’s hand. Supergirl helped the agent change and kicked Maggie out of the room. (“We don’t need you for this,” the hero sniped, slamming the door in her face.)

 

They placed Alex into bed, and she was emotionally exhausted, she fell asleep the instant her head hit the pillow, but Supergirl and Maggie remained in the room.

 

Supergirl laying down on one side and Maggie on the other side of the bed. The two women listening to the strangely comforting sound of Alex breathing.

 

“Her dad… Is he alive?” Maggie asked in the darkness and for a long moment, she thought Supergirl was asleep. But she eventually responded just as softly. 

 

“Yes. Barely. Alex shot him and then tried to save him. He was bleeding a lot. And a CADMUS agent came in and told her to get away and that he’ll take it from here. They took Jeremiah away. We just have to assume they saved him,” 

 

“So… What you said on the roof? About Jeremiah taking in a Kryptonian girl…?”

 

“Nothing gets by you, huh?”

 

“Sorry. I’m a detective. I detect,” 

 

The superhero sighed and mulled over her options before she revealed softly, “I’m Kara Danvers - Alex’s little sister,”

 

Maggie’s eyes widened. She can’t believe she didn’t figure it out sooner. Looking back, it was painfully obvious. “Well, now, that explains the angry looks,”

 

“Sorry,” Kara said, but she doesn’t sound too apologetic. “I'm protective and when my sister gets her heart broken, I…” Her blue eyes shifted to the sleeping form between them. “I do anything to protect her,”

 

“Understandable. It’s okay,” Maggie looked to the person between them too. And she knew deep down she would do anything to protect that beautiful heart. 

 

The world may not appreciate Alex, but Maggie was going to do it for the world. She would cheer her on. She would protect her. She would love her…

 

“Maggie,”

 

“Kara,”

 

Kara swallowed thickly. Her voice heavy with emotion. “I’m scared she won’t get over this…” She closed her eyes tightly together to hide the tears forming. “I’m scared she’ll blame me. I’m scared she’s going to wake up, see her hands, and remember they were used to pull a trigger for a gun aimed at her dad. I’m scared she’s going to look at me and remember what her for me made her do,”

 

“You didn’t make her do anything. She loves you, Kara. She loves you so much,” 

 

“I’m scared she won’t get through this,” Kara croaked. 

 

“She will. I know she will. Alex is strong. She’s the strongest out of all of us. She’ll get through this,” Maggie said with grand determination. She may not have known the agent long, but she knew the woman was not one to back down from a fight. She would get through this. She would. Because she wasn’t going to go through this alone. 

 

Instinctively, she grabbed Alex’s hand and squeezed it. 

 

“You care a lot about her,” Kara said aloud. 

 

“Yeah, I do. You seem surprised by that?”

 

“It’s just… When I came to Alex’s apartment, to find her…” Kara didn’t bother to finish that thought. “I just assumed you didn’t care. I’m sorry,” Tears were spilling from her eyes. “I’m so sorry, Maggie,” 

 

“I’m sorry too,”

 

\---

 

Maggie woke up and found Alex absentmindedly playing with her hair. 

 

“Sorry,” the agent murmured guiltily. “I… I didn’t mean to - “ 

 

“It’s fine, Danvers,” She repositioned herself so her back was pressed against the headboard. “How are you?”

 

“Tired,” Alex admitted. Maggie had a feeling she wasn’t referring to exhaustion. “I’m sorry for last night… I wasn’t thinking… I just…” Her brown eyes welled with tears. “I didn’t mean to scare you,”

 

“Just don’t pull that shit again. Okay?”

 

Alex nodded vigorously. 

 

“I care a lot about you, Danvers. I don’t want to see you getting hurt,” Maggie said with much conviction. “Now, where’s your super sister?”

 

Kara chose this moment to emerge into the room, still dressed as Supergirl, with a tray of food. “Morning, sleepy head,” She placed the tray down on her sister’s lap and pushed the reddish brown strands of hair out of Alex’s eyes. “How are you?”

 

Alex opened her mouth and any questions she had about her sister’s not-so-secret identity fell out of mind the moment she looked into those blue eyes. “I’m… I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have… That was stupid. I’m so sorry. I wasn’t myself. I just wanted to protect you guys from me. And I couldn’t think… I couldn’t… I’m so sorry,” 

 

“Hey, all that matters is that you’re safe,” Kara told her. She gave her sister a strong one-arm hug. “Now, eat up, you two,”

 

Alex nibbled on a bagel - not feeling much of an appetite - while Maggie wolfed down her own before realization struck. 

 

“Shoot, I have work,” the detective looked down at her watch. She glanced up at the youngest Danvers. “Call me, Kara, if you need me,” She looked down at Alex. “I’ll be back at six,”

 

Alex frowned. “Wait, you know about Kara?” She gazed at her sister urgently for an explanation. 

 

“Yeah,” Maggie grinned. “Pretty sure Supergirl doesn’t come to people’s apartment with trays of breakfast to give to people in bed,”

 

“That and the fact I told her last night,” Kara smiled warmly. 

 

“You two don’t have to - “

 

“Actually, we do,” Maggie said. She placed her hand atop Alex’s. “We care about you. And we know you'll never hurt us. So we want to be there for you,”

 

“You're going through a lot, Alex,” Kara added, playing with her cape nervously. “And we want to be there. We want to make sure you're safe, and we want to help you get through this,”

 

“Because you will get through this even if it doesn't seem like that right now,” Maggie smiled warmly.

 

Alex’s eyes moved from girl to girl. And wordlessly stretched out her arms and held them in a tight embrace. 

 

“Thank you,” she whispered in Maggie’s shoulder. And she let herself be held by the two most important women in her life.

**Author's Note:**

> Grief can do a lot to a person. And I felt it that it was possible that it may warp Alex, who feels she must protect all, to protect others by getting rid of herself. As well, I saw the basis on such due to her past self-destructive behavior - her drinking during the "gap year". I suppose that's my reasoning if you find actions out of character. They could be. I'm not sure, and I hope they aren't too much if they are. And I'm sorry if you do in fact find it is indeed out of character. 
> 
> I feel like this wasn't one of my strongest pieces or my best writing so I'm sorry if you agree. I just was going through a lot and merely wanted to write.
> 
> (The national suicide hotline number is the following - 1-800-273-8255. Stay safe.)


End file.
